Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
