the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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