well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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