? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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