is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
