i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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