the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize