very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
