i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize