those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
