why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
