it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
