it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
