I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize