A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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