Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
