i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
