you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
