I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
