There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
