Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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