just tell him i said nine months
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
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There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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