i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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