i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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