I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize