I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
