I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
