That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
