I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
