Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
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I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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