you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
