Your tits are I can't wait for
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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