dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
