They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you never un-have a 4some
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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