Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
