this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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