It's like God shit irony all over that family
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
