i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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