what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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