I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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