Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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