i don't like sucking hair
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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