You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
