You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
