You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
