i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
