I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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