Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
