i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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