It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
