Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
