No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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