You're my little dorito
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
