I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
