I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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