We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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