Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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