oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
