Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
