i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think my mom watched the whole time
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
