Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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