Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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